You know you're from Colorado Springs when...

You know you're from Colorado Springs when...

• You switch from "Heat" in the morning to "A/C" in the afternoon
• You complain about the state of the world but stand behind your Republican Vote
• You hike to the top of Pikes Peak to refresh your soul
• You own an SUV to help you get through the snow, but scrape your windows with a credit card
• The penny-pinching side of you identifies with owning a hybrid, but you'll never buy one because your redneck friends consider them "faggy."
• You say you're going on a fitness binge and soon will climb Pikes Peak, but eventually the feeling goes away and you drive up instead
• You think the Gazette is a left-leaning paper
• You only go to Manitou when you have company in town
• You're constantly reminding your Democrat friends that Abraham Lincoln was a Republican
• You think Denver is full of Commies because it has light rail
• You have an entire photo album dedicated to mountain photographs
• Someone says "South Park," and you think of the spacious fields on the way to Buena Vista
• You love the president more than your neighbor
• You think college dormitories are a novelty, not the norm
• You've never been to Aspen, because it's too liberal, too expensive and too far away
• You've heard someone talk about "living in Tweakertown" and understood them
• You know where "Tweakertown" is
• You wear Broncos colors to church
• You have more than two "Support our Troops" magnets on your SUV
• Your concept of world peace includes nuking the shit out of anyone who doesn't agree with you
• You know the correct pronunciation of "Buena Vista" and "Pueblo"
• Your sense of direction is: towards the mountains and away from the mountains
• You're able to drive 65 miles per hour through 13 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without even flinching
• You take your out of town guests to Casa Bonita even though you would never go there otherwise.
• You think the major food groups are granola bars, tofu and Fat Tire Beer
• You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit
• You've participated in a riot after a CU or CSU game
• You can never figure out why your out-of-town guests faint from altitude sickness on a picnic to the mountains
• You can drive over a 12,000-foot pass in 4 feet of snow, but can't get to work if there are 4 inches of snow
• You visit friends at sea level and can drink a case of beer and not get a buzz
• Your car insurance costs more than your car
• You have surge protectors on every outlet
• You accept the fact that April showers will bring May blizzards
• 'Timberline' is someplace you have actually been
• You know what a 'Chinook' is
• You know what a 'Rocky Mountain oyster' is
• You know what a 'fourteener' is
• A bear on your front porch doesn't bother you nearly as much as a Democrat in Congress does
• Your golf bag has a 9-iron, a 3-wood and a lightning rod
• You learned about Alfred Packer in school
• You know who Baby Doe Tabor was
• SPF 90 is not out of the question
• People from other states breathe 5 times as often as you do
• Having a Senator named Nighthorse didn't seem strange to you
• Thunder has set off your car alarm
• You have an $800 stereo in a $300 truck
• A sudden loss of cabin pressure is not a big deal to you
• You think a red light means 3 more cars can go
• You are a meat-eating vegetarian
• The comment "Where we're going, we don't need roads!!" applies to the directions to your house
• You know where Doc Holliday's grave is
• You've been to Buffalo Bill's grave on a field trip when in Elementary school
• You can recognize the license plates of all 50 states on sight, including Hawaii
• You've given driving directions that included 'Go over ____ Pass...'
• You've used checking for ticks' as an excuse to get someone naked
• You've dressed in shorts, sandals, and a parka
• You've gone skiing in July
• You've gone sunbathing in January
• You get a certain feeling of satisfaction from knowing that California and Texas are both downstream
• You recognize that there are more churches in town than east-west turn lanes.
• Your Y2K foodstuffs included trail mix and Celestial Seasonings tea.
• You enjoy the smell of horse manure deposited on the street after the Little Britches Rodeo parade
• You know where Black Forest is, and it's not the one in Germany
• As far as you know, you've never met an actual gay person
• You are shocked, absolutely shocked, when it rains
• You have worked for the government in one capacity or another, even if it was making burgers at the BK on base
• You consider drinking Diet Pepsi "eating healthy."
• You have a natural fear of merging onto Powers or Academy Boulevards
• You think Michael Moore is America's biggest terrorist threat
• You think the Japanese shrine on Nevada Avenue makes Colorado Springs international and cosmopolitan
• You don't think it's weird that it takes 10 minutes to cook a 3-minute egg
• You think Denver is a really, really big city
• Someone says their a liberal or democrat, and you apologize
• You buy a hummer to be patriotic
• It never occurs to you that Airport Road should access the airport
• The word "butte" doesn't make you giggle, even a little
• Your "Broncos Maniac" sticker competes for bumper space with an American flag, a Jesus fish, a "These Colors Don't Run" decal, and at least six "I Stop at Lube Stop" stickers
• You know what "Lube Stop" is
• You think Pueblo people should make the drive to meet you, but resent that Denver folks expect you to drive to them
• You understand why Kelly Johnson turns into Briargate and why Austin Bluffs turns into Garden of the Gods
• You actually know where the "Springs" are.
• You dare your out of town friends to taste the "Springs" water to laugh at them.
• You could use your belt buckle for a sundial
• You drive to Denver on Saturday afternoon because "the malls are better."
• You believe bad people will be condemned for eternity to Boulder
• You go to work when you are sick and take a day off when you feel good enough to hike and/or ski
• The Dragon Arms firearms complex is wholesome family fun
• You complain about General Palmer's statue, but vote against moving it
• You've received an inter-office memo stating that Western wear is appropriate attire for the week of the Rodeo Parade. (And you already have something in your wardrobe that fits the bill.)
• You say, "It's changed a lot since I've been here," no matter how long you've been here
• You associate August with flooding, the Pikes Peak or Bust Rodeo, and the Broadmoor Ice Review
• You think Elvira is cool simply because she hails from your hometown
• You think "liberal" in liberal arts means a political position
• Your church blesses dogs, cats and turtles, but not same-sex unions
• You got the chainsaw bear sculpture for its certain ... je ne sais quoi
• You know the four seasons as: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Winter and Mud
• You describe Colorado Springs as a "World-Class City." With a straight face
• You fly your flag on your house, car, truck, flapping in the wind day and night for months. The more tattered and faded.. the more you love your country.
• Your idea of enjoying nature is on Mount Herman and involves an off-road vehicle, a 12-pack, a shotgun, a couch and a bonfire.
  
• You know March and April don't mean spring, they mean snow
• You find yourself saying, "Well, we need the moisture" anytime there is hint of a storm, to perfect strangers in the elevator.
• Your smallest vehicle seats 8 and has 4 wheel drive and a wench

(If you hail from Colorado Springs and wish to contribute to this list, Contact Us )